Consistency in attitude

Given recent consequential life changes, on both a personal and professional level, I realized that the mindset that I had before and after the conclusion of the event aforementioned, was drastically different. 

While I do admire our innate capability as sentient beings to distinguish between the change in our circumstance, our environments and our situations, I am not oblivious to the detrimental nature of a relapse to a more mediocre (or contentment oriented) mindset that has been carefully cultivated in response to a significant struggle.

That is what was happening to me, and I realized it, and am now writing about it and trying to actively change it. I fell like the effort I put into changing myself for the better, the walls that I had drawn to hold against future charges of regret and disappointment had begun to erode after the sun had come out shining and the rain-clouds had parted. 

But I do not want the walls to go down, I do not want to be exposed again. Never in my life had I felt as naked as I did in those trying situations, and I have to vow to myself that I will never feel the same way again, but in order to do that properly I have to do 2 things

 1. Actively remember the feelings that caused such discomfort 
2. Work hard and smart to ensure that I don't fall back into destructive behavioral habits that I so  ardently overcame

Only then can I progressively move forward  

- M

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