4 lines to rule them all

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Heres a visual representation of what your life looks like if you live above the statistical benchmark to the age of 80. Each square here represents one week at an average of 53 weeks per year To some this might seem morbid, but I find it fascinating, humbling. You see a box I see milestones; birth of a child. The passing of a loved one. Graduation. The first paycheck. Marriage. Happiness and sadness and everything in between all rolled into 4 lines connected together. I like to fill in each week as it passes, it serves the following purpose - acts as a reminder on how far I have to go, so I contemplate and reflect on mistakes to learn from them - helps in keeping my self aligned to my values and stick to my smaller seemingly mundane habits that will only benefit me in the long run (like staying active/ keeping relationships) - keeps me grounded on how much I do not know - a constant reminder on not to take small things too seriously as it will all eventually come to an end - lastl...

Consistency in attitude

Given recent consequential life changes, on both a personal and professional level, I realized that the mindset that I had before and after the conclusion of the event aforementioned, was drastically different. 

While I do admire our innate capability as sentient beings to distinguish between the change in our circumstance, our environments and our situations, I am not oblivious to the detrimental nature of a relapse to a more mediocre (or contentment oriented) mindset that has been carefully cultivated in response to a significant struggle.

That is what was happening to me, and I realized it, and am now writing about it and trying to actively change it. I fell like the effort I put into changing myself for the better, the walls that I had drawn to hold against future charges of regret and disappointment had begun to erode after the sun had come out shining and the rain-clouds had parted. 

But I do not want the walls to go down, I do not want to be exposed again. Never in my life had I felt as naked as I did in those trying situations, and I have to vow to myself that I will never feel the same way again, but in order to do that properly I have to do 2 things

 1. Actively remember the feelings that caused such discomfort 
2. Work hard and smart to ensure that I don't fall back into destructive behavioral habits that I so  ardently overcame

Only then can I progressively move forward  

- M

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