A Thousand Flames You were the sum of a thousand flames I, a moth drawn to your endless light A palate of cinders and ash Yours was an unimaginable warmth Mine was solace from the storm Ours was a love purified by fading embers I could never tell where you began and I ended For my hands are tattooed still with scorch marks of your touch And if I could live it again, certain in how it ends A lifetime would be fair price, for another fleeting moment of us Forgive my courage today, for the wind grows ever stronger A new storm is approaching and the season turns Too long have I huddled over this dying flame, it aches to be free There is no wood left to burn But know that your warmth has never left me
I sit here today as I try to ponder on the inner workings of my mind on this silent afternoon, the Sunday after my escapades. It is something I often do after a long bout of extroverted-ness, my chronic condition of expanding more energy than I would care to on various musings of life. So much has happened in the past three weeks, but most of it too private to tell-tale on a public blog. But know this: there's a bitter coffee to my right, just within reach, and then the ever pervasive sound of the ceiling fan running as my mind tries to count its rotations with accuracy. I sit donning a jade shalwar kameez, buttons of the sleeves in place, back straight as it soothes the pain, I am back in the confines of sunny equatorial Lahore, the city of gardens, home to guardrails of the Punjab. I am reminded, suddenly and somberly of my grandfather, typing as I typed, with both hands on his keyboard, fingers pushing buttons, the learnings of his typewriter days being translated t...
Sadness - Grief - Ungratefulness -Victimhood - The counter to all is Joy. Internal Joy. Regardless of situation A lot of these feelings that arise in daily life primarily seem to be a manifestation of the expectations we have in our lives, from the people around us, from our own life, from the world and from nature. These days I have begun to think cherish walking in the park. Begin to cherish being around nature, to dip my feet in the earth and to smell the moisture in the air. The darkness of the coast and tides lashing on the shores is strangely inviting. There was a point in time when it seemed like the uncertainty of water over my head would be something that I would find painful. Now the thought of ice cold water in my lungs and over my head, the darkness and and depth of the ocean seems a welcoming prospect. And maybe that is an indication of the neural rewiring I have tried to achieve for so long. Though I still have a ways to go. Things are changing internally...
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